The apocalypse will inevitably fall upon us. Whether it’s in the form of flesh eating zombies, nuclear war, a water crisis and the list goes on. Who do you think is best prepared for the end? Sports heroes? Business persons? Religious fanatics? Politicians
? Celebrities? Honey BooBoo? If you guessed any of the previous, you are wrong. The correct answer is The Nerd. Yes, The Nerd (caps for emphasis).
Now you may be scoffing at me a little bit, but, we will just see who’s is scoffing at whom when a zombie is eating your face and I’m still kicking zombie butt.
I’m going to bang off some reasons why The Nerd is going to be the best prepped to survive doomsday (not Superman’s enemy, if you come up against him, you’re royally screwed no matter who you are). Keep in mind, The Nerd, is a very broad and complex stereotype, we got the bookworm nerd, the gamer nerd, the superhero nerd and so many more. So, these are some generalities that I am allowed to make because I am a nerd:
Nerds have a quick reaction time
It has been proven that gamers have quicker reaction times and are able to make accurate decisions faster than the average Joe. One article in the Telegraph both talks about the bad physical health of a professional gamer…BUT also talks about how they have reaction time on par with pilots.
Nerds tend to like gaming; even just dabbling in gaming will increase your reaction time. With heightened reaction time, we will be more likely to survive the zombies, more likely to dodge bullets and any other thing that might come our way in the apocalypse. A split second could be the difference between life and death, and The Nerd has a higher chance of coming out alive.
Nerds watch/read fantasy/sci-fi
While other people are living their day to day life with their feet firmly on the ground and head out of the clouds, Nerds enjoy floating up into the clouds. We don’t simply live in reality; we absorb ourselves into other realms of possibility thought TV, books and games.
In these other worlds we expect the unexpected, learn new skills and are surrounded by other worlds, some apocalyptic and ancient. Being exposed to other ways of life, be it high fantasy with mythical creatures or sci-fi where you have to somehow make it off a hostile planet. Whatever the story may be, we have been immersed in other worlds. So, when the apocalypse happens we will be ready to adapt. We may even have an extra ability to guess what twists the new world will bring us.
Nerds have in depth conversations about things that “will never happen”
If you are anything like me and my friends then you have sat around the lunch table and hashed out the perfect zombie apocalypse survival strategy. It’s fun! We thoroughly enjoy just rambling on about completely “irrelevant” things. We discuses it from every angle until it either makes sense or we all sit in quiet contemplation, unable to get past the impasse.
These conversations are what are preparing us for the possibly of the end. We have our survival kits packed and our rendezvous point picked out. While other people are discussing Obamacare or HoneyBooBoo, the Nerd is stratagizing. It could be that preemptive thought that gives us the extra advantage when the crap hits the fan.
There is a stash of weapons in their house
The nerd does not go into a store, see Link’s Master Sward and simply walk away. We buy it. I can guarantee a solid chunk of the nerd population has some sort of weapon in their home. If you are like Howard Wolowitz, it’s hanging above your bed.
So when a zombie barges through your door, you have an array of weapons right at your disposal (and I’m not talking your mamas kitchen knife, I’m talking bow and katana. You will prevail, unfortunately your poor non-nerdy neighbor will not…they only had their fits.
p.s. If you are not a nerd but are still interested in surviving the end, i would recommend reading The Zombie Survival Guide by Max Brooks. It has a lot of good advice that can be applied to any apocalypses.